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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
The bar chart depicts the international purchase of 05 smartphone trademarks, including
Samsung
Use synonyms
,
Apple
Use synonyms
,
Nokia
Use synonyms
,
LG
Use synonyms
 and
ZTE
Use synonyms
 over a four-year period from 2009 to 2013. On the whole, it is apparent that the number of
Samsung
Use synonyms
,
Apple
Use synonyms
 and
ZTE
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 bought went up considerably,
while
Linking Words
 that for
Nokia
Use synonyms
 and
LG
Use synonyms
 saw a reverse trend.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009, there were nearly 250
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 of
Samsung
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 that were bought.
This
Linking Words
 data
also
Linking Words
 doubled that for
LG
Use synonyms
 and was
four-time
Use the right word
four times
show examples
 higher than the former for
ZTE
Use synonyms
. At the same time,
Nokia
Use synonyms
 was the most
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 brand with around 450
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 sold,
while
Linking Words
 the least one was
Apple
Use synonyms
, with just around 20
million
Use synonyms
. In the next 4 years, the quantity of
Samsung
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 purchased rose swiftly and reached a peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 over 450
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
. Sharing the same trend, the figure for
Apple
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to above 150
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
, tripling that for
ZTE
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year given.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the category for
phones
Use synonyms
 bearing
Nokia
Use synonyms
 and
LG
Use synonyms
 trademarks went down remarkably to approximately 250
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 and under 100
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 respectively over the timespan.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words samsung, apple, nokia, lg, zte, phones, million, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Mobile phone brands
  • Market share
  • Trends
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
  • Consumer preferences
  • Demographics
  • Market dominance
  • Brand loyalty
  • Comparative analysis
  • Sales figures
  • Data interpretation
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