IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many things used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines .do this bring more advantages or di sadvantages ?

People
Use synonyms
 used to do most of
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 chores before machines took over. Man and women now getting unfit because they do not get enough physical work load because of the
technology
Use synonyms
 has taken the position.
However
Linking Words
, because of the new
technology
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 now have more and more
time
Use synonyms
 to think about different things to create art or
writing
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
 a book.
People
Use synonyms
now
Verb problem
are now
show examples
 moving towards
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
sadentry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 life since the evolution of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Before
Punctuation problem
Before,
show examples
 they used to
all
Verb problem
do all
show examples
 the work like making food, cleaning clothes and other
home
Use synonyms
 chores with their hand.
However
Linking Words
, now they prefer to use
rice
Correct article usage
a rice
show examples
 maker or
pizza
Correct article usage
a pizza
show examples
 maker device or some other kind of
technology
Use synonyms
 to make their food.
Likewise
Linking Words
, cleaning machines are being used to clean clothes, carpets and
floores
Correct your spelling
floors
 of
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
. It is making
people
Use synonyms
 more lazy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 affecting their health
Punctuation problem
. and
show examples
and
Correct word choice
That
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 why more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are getting unfit because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not get enough physical exercise
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of the past used to get to be in proper shape.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States of America or obese because of their way of living, their lifestyle making them unfit physically and being physically unhealthy is
also
Linking Words
 affecting their mental health.
However
Linking Words
, because of the latest
technology
Use synonyms
men
Punctuation problem
, men
show examples
 and women
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
now have more
time
Use synonyms
 to enhance their skills in
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 now have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to create some piece of art or
writing
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
 a book that
people
Use synonyms
 of the past could not do because of the daily routine
Use synonyms
home
Change preposition
of home
show examples
 chores they would do.
For example
Linking Words
, it was published in an article that
percentage of the
Correct word order
the percentage of
show examples
 novels
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
written in 2023 has significantly improved than in 2005. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 now have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to improve their arts skills with the new
technology
Use synonyms
 is doing their work that would
otherwise
Linking Words
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to be done by hand in the past. It is
also
Linking Words
 making them unfit and unhealthy
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will cause more issues than solving problems.

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planning
Plan before you write. Decide what view you will show and keep one idea in each paragraph.
coherence
Use clear links to show how ideas go from one to the next. A simple start, middle and end helps.
structure
Have a short opening that states your view and a short ending that restates it.
grammar
Watch small grammar mistakes. Check subject and verb form and number.
vocabulary
Use only common words. Simple and easy to read.
evidence
Give one or two clear examples to back up a point and date or fact if possible.
content
The topic is reused and there is some idea of past and present.
analysis
The writer tries to compare health and time for art as two sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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