IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technological advancement never ends and begins with humanity.
In particular
Linking Words
, it always
pave
Correct subject-verb agreement
paves
show examples
 the way
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
communication
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
, it is
also
Linking Words
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 way of interacting with each other. There is
debate
Correct article usage
a debate
show examples
 that
web based
Use the right word
web-based
show examples
platforms
Use synonyms
 like Facebook or Twitter reduce mutual physical interactions of citizens and cultivate the singularity of individuals. I strongly believe that there should
a
Verb problem
be a
show examples
balanced approach between social
platforms
Use synonyms
 usage and
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
communication
Use synonyms
. On one hand, over the past
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 many mobile and internet
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 come in the earth that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have alleviated the downside of
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
, so everyone can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 talk with each other or get informed about everything around via these
platforms
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is convenient and affordable for everyone.
For example
Linking Words
, when you want to meet or make new
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 or just
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
talk with old ones, just click some buttons and easily
comminate
Verb problem
communicate
show examples
 with each other. 
On the other hand
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, these
platforms
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have some downsides,
for instance
Linking Words
, when you talk with your close friend on a tough subject, sometimes you have no chance to convey all your feelings and emotions properly. So you may feel
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of some
communication
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, as a matter of fact,
that is
Linking Words
 all about
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of face-to-face
communication
Use synonyms
cons
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that
overusage
Punctuation problem
, overusage
show examples
 can cause mental and physical issues like anxiety and
backbone
Check wording
back
show examples
 swirling
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 eye strain. These effects are much more common
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new generations. Control could be the best way for them. 
Overall
Linking Words
, a balanced approach, especially for younger
people
Use synonyms
 about their social platform
usage
Punctuation problem
usage,
show examples
 should be under
control
Correct article usage
the control
show examples
 of their parents and school teachers.
Thus
Linking Words
, they should always
Linking Words
firstly
Replace the word
first
show examples
 encourage
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
face-to-face interactions for their well-being. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think the use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many
people
Use synonyms
 in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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grammar
Fix many spelling and word choice errors that slow reading
grammar
Make shorter, clear sentences. Use proper punctuation to avoid long runs
structure
Have a clear view in the first paragraph and restate it in the end
content
Add clear examples for each idea and explain how social media changes talk and time with friends
coherence
Use clear links to show how ideas are linked and to contrast good and bad parts
content
The essay shows a clear idea that balance is needed
structure
It uses separate parts for good and bad sides, which helps read
content
It tries to tell both sides of the talk
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interaction
  • social media
  • face-to-face
  • connect
  • communication
  • misunderstandings
  • emotional detachment
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • prioritize
  • gatherings
  • transform
  • enhance
  • organize
  • engage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: