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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020
The line graph illustrates how many people took part in film club, martial arts,
amteur
Correct your spelling
amateur
 dramatics, table tennis and musical performances over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 20
years
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that all activities have experienced remarkable changes, with the
expection
Correct your spelling
exception
 of film club and martial arts over a
20
Correct your spelling
20-year
years
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 amateur dramatics and table tennis recorded significant changes, musical performances showed a steady rising trend. Between 2000 to 2010, the number of film
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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dip
Wrong verb form
dipped
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 slowly from 65 to 60. But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2020, there was a slight growth from 60 to nearly 65 again.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the data of martial arts
was variation
Verb problem
varied
show examples
 between approximately 47 to 46 and
hit
Verb problem
reached
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
40
Change preposition
of 40
show examples
 in 2010 over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure of
ameteur
Correct your spelling
amateur
 dramatics jumped slightly between 2000 and 2005 from 25 to 30
after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
 that in over 15
Use synonyms
years
Correct your spelling
15-year
Use synonyms
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sank sharply from 30 to under 10. The digit of table tennis
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 was a slow
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 18 to 20 between 2000 to
1005
Punctuation problem
1005,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the data
keep
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 unchanged
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5
years
Use synonyms
.
Howerver
Correct your spelling
However
, it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose rapidly from 20 to around 55.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of musical performances from 2000 to 2005 there was reached zero.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it surged significantly
about
Rephrase
from approximately
show examples
 0 to approximately 20.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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