Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
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Nowadays, there is an increasing reliance on digital
technology
, and this
is particularly true when it comes to communication, medical practices, and transportation operations. However
, some sceptics might say that we are so dependent on technology
that it could cause catastrophic situations. I partially agree with this
opinion and will explain my thoughts in this
essay.
When people are overly dependent on technology
, it has a potentially harmful effect if they do not possess adequate cyber security literacy. Let's take the possibility of data bleaching as an example. When staff at a company do not have enough knowledge of how the Internet works, hackers can attack the organisation's security system to extract confidential data and sell it to buyers. This
will have a grave effect on the company if the data is extremely sensitive.
In the case of transport operations, it is indisputable that there are certain benefits of technological adoption, but it should be cautious about the detrimental effects that come with it. For instance
, Japan has been renounced for its cutting-edge technology
, and it uses that high-tech technology
to operate its train system. However
, if the technology
were to be disrupted at any point in time, it would be disastrous for the commuters, as they would not be able to make it to the office on time.
With that being said, there would not be much effect on technology
in the medical field. As it is mainly used in the diagnostic stages, the main operation step will be done by experts or professionals, such
as doctors or surgeons. Therefore
, I believe that technology
is not very influential in the medical field, as most operations are manual; only minor support is needed from technology
.
All in all, digital technology
has become common in our everyday lives, especially in the fields of communication, medicine, and transport. Although
there is a potential danger that over-reliance on technology
could harm mankind, I believe that it is still manageable in certain sectors, such
as the medical field, where most of the activities are operated manually.Submitted by emteeme on
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introduction conclusion present
Consider providing a stronger conclusion that encapsulates the main points discussed and reinforces your position more definitively. This can enhance the impact of your essay.
supported main points
Ensure all points are equally well-developed and balanced throughout the essay. For instance, the discussion on the medical field could be expanded to show a broader understanding.
logical structure
Use more sophisticated linking devices to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps in understanding your stance on the topic effectively.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples from different fields such as cyber security, transport systems, and the medical field, which support your arguments effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, addressing different aspects of the issue appropriately.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
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- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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