IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are often influences in their behaviours and situations by others of the same age. This is called peer pressure. are the advantages outweigh disadvantage

Having a certain
group
Use synonyms
 of
friendcircle
Correct your spelling
friends
 is a common phenomenon for teenagers.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 of other
people
Use synonyms
 can
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
 young
generation
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 negatively,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 say that having a good circle can create
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact in
life
Use synonyms
.
Through
Change preposition
Although
show examples
 there are some
debate
Fix the agreement mistake
debates
show examples
 but I think having
Use synonyms
peer
Correct article usage
a peer
show examples
 or
Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 provides more advantages
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to disadvantages. A good young
friend
Use synonyms
 circle can help
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
career
Use synonyms
. If a person has a good company in his
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 it will change his academic
career
Use synonyms
. They can make
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 score in
exam
Correct article usage
the exam
show examples
 and do academic research. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, friends can push each
others
Check wording
other's
show examples
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 as well.
For example
Linking Words
, a study done by DU
reseachers
Correct your spelling
researchers
 shows that, in
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
 there were 7
people
Use synonyms
 who secured their jobs in NASA
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the surprising fact was
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 all are from
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 university and
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
depertment
Correct your spelling
department
. So,
peer
Use synonyms
 influence a lot in terms of
career
Use synonyms
 development.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
peer
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 help
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 mental health improvement. Sometimes teenagers
are gone
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 through several mental
breakdown
Fix the agreement mistake
breakdowns
show examples
 and pressure, and ,at
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 period, they feel
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
 if they can share their sufferings with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 nearest
one
Use synonyms
. A study by 'Prothom Alo' shows that, out of 100
people
Use synonyms
,
who's
Use the right word
whose
show examples
 age is between 18-25, 80
people
Use synonyms
 feel more comfortable
to share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 their stress with friends
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 parents or
relative
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be said that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a
peer
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 has positive sides. Sometimes a
group
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 can bring drawbacks in
life
Use synonyms
. If
one
Use synonyms
 has a bad
friend
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
circle
circlle
Punctuation problem
circlle,
show examples
 they will
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 harm in
life
Use synonyms
. It is quite normal that negative things
attarct
Correct your spelling
attract
 first and young
people
Use synonyms
 have less understanding to choose between good and bad, as consequences easily adapt the bad habits of their friends.
For instance
Linking Words
, sometimes
one
Use synonyms
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
 so that
one
Use synonyms
 can become cool
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 because the rest of the
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of that
group
Use synonyms
 are
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
. Statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 45% students in Barguna started
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
 because of
peer
Use synonyms
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
. So, it is stated that, bad
peer
Use synonyms
 could lead
life
Use synonyms
 into hell. In conclusion, a
group
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 can bring advantages like
to help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 build
Use synonyms
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 or
relief
Replace the word
relieving
show examples
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
 if they have positive personalities. On the other
, hand
Check wording
hand, hand
show examples
friend
Use synonyms
 circle can
make
Verb problem
influence
show examples
people
Use synonyms
influence
Verb problem
apply
show examples
towards bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 like smoking. But the positive sides are more weighted.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and restate it in the last. Add a short plan in the intro so the reader knows what you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Use one main idea per paragraph. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the point you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with simple connectives and make sure the order is logical. Check that every sentence leads to the next.
grammar accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Use common words and correct the errors like 'circle' to 'circle', 'smoking', 'pressure'.
lexical resource
Use more specific examples that relate to teenagers. Do not claim sources that are not clear. Keep facts believable and clear.
task response
Clear view that advantages outweigh disadvantages
content
Some good ideas on how friends can help study and mood
coherence
Basic structure with introduction, body and conclusion
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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