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Writing Samples
Band 4

many goverenments think that economic progress is their most important goal. some people, however, think that educational progress is equally important for a country. discuss both this views and give your oun opinion

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Introduction
Many people hold different opinions about
this
Linking Words
 issue of what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most important for
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 the economic improvement or
education
Use synonyms
 improvement .
Linking Words
firstly
Fix capitalization
Firstly
show examples
, I agree with both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
Punctuation problem
. .on
show examples
.on
Correct your spelling
On
 the one hand , in order to improve the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
connected
Verb problem
is connected
show examples
 to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 level of
education
Use synonyms
 ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , that level of
highly
Replace the word
higher
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 only
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
wen
Use the right word
when
show examples
 the
countries
Use synonyms
 have good incomes.
Body paragraph 1
In my point of view, I think both economic
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 and
education
Use synonyms
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 could be achieved as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 already exist in a lot of
countries
Use synonyms
 .
Such
Linking Words
 as ,
golfe
Correct your spelling
Gulf
countries
Use synonyms
Saudis
Fix the agreement mistake
Saudi
show examples
 Arabia , Qatar , and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Emirates
Check wording
Arab Emirates
show examples
 ,
due to
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
gases
Fix the agreement mistake
gas
show examples
 money
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 economy of these
countries
Use synonyms
insanely
Verb problem
is insanely
show examples
 high .
In addition
Linking Words
 , the governments planned long goles they achieved big percentage of it and the remaining in the future they planned to reach it .
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
 , many country has a lot of
recourses
Use the right word
resources
show examples
 to have money
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 because
of
Verb problem
they are
show examples
 poorly
managed
Punctuation problem
managed,
show examples
 they lost it.
However
Linking Words
, they can't provide
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 for citizens.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of
education
Use synonyms
 decreased for many reasons
one
Punctuation problem
, one
show examples
 of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 attend
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work in jobs
instead
Linking Words
 of
receiving
Verb problem
pursuing
show examples
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 degrees of
education
Use synonyms
 .
Also
Linking Words
, they need to enter
Correct article usage
the carrier
show examples
carrier
Use the right word
career
show examples
 field very
son
Use the right word
soon
show examples
 because they can't
afforded
Wrong verb form
afford
show examples
 the school or university .
Conclusion
In conclusion , both
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 progress and
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 progress are significant effects
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 growth of
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , they are connected and each
effected
Use the right word
affected
show examples
 the other .
Finally
Linking Words
 , I hope
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
planning
Wrong verb form
plans
show examples
 to
fixe
Use the right word
fix
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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structure
Plan your answer. State both views, then give your own view and a short ending.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show flow, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'in addition', 'however'.
content
Give clear ideas and one good example in each paragraph. Do not mix many points in one sentence.
style
Check spell and word choice. Use easy words.
content
The essay shows the topic and gives some ideas.
structure
There is a sense of how money and school connect in the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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