People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals wish that a utopian society were created.
However
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,
due to
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complex issues,
this
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objective is drastically difficult to achieve. In my opinion, to create a perfect society, the most vulnerable groups have to be catered for. A perfect nation would be possible thanks to efforts made to better education, accessibility and happiness rates. In regard to education, countries that have the highest level of it
also
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have the happiest nations. In Scandinavian countries, like Denmark,
for example
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, there are numerous documentaries about their distinctive school and university
programmes
Fix the agreement mistake
programme
show examples
structures.
For instance
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, tuition fees are free for all European students.
Also
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, young children have classes about the importance of their feelings and emotions and how to deal with them. Looking at accessibility, in a lot of countries, disabled people aren't able to live a decent life because of the invisible obstacles they face every day. Unfortunately, the hilly city of Lisbon has been criticised for usually not having accessible routes in public spaces.
Whereas
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, in Valencia,
for example
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, since the city is highly walkable and flat, it's common to see wheelchair users everywhere. Public transports offer specific conditions for them
as well as
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establishments
such
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as restaurants and universities.
To conclude
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, by prioritising these two subjects, we would be closer to a flawless society. Having a good education would ensure generations of highly knowledgeable adults who can make good decisions and have the resources to live a joyous life.
Moreover
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, the population with non-abled bodies would live a life with much more equality and opportunities.

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development
Make the introduction clearer with a direct statement of your view and what main points you will discuss.
cohesion
Use more linking words to show how one idea leads to the next.
linguistic
Check word choice and sentence form to avoid awkward phrases and small grammar errors.
content
Give a more detailed example and explain how it supports your point.
task response
Strong focus on the idea of education and accessibility.
coherence
Good use of examples from real places to illustrate points.
coherence
Clear paragraph structure with a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ideal society
  • equality
  • social justice
  • sustainable practices
  • community engagement
  • economic stability
  • cultural diversity
  • accessible healthcare
  • fair justice system
  • educational opportunities
  • environmental sustainability
  • active participation
  • inclusive society
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