some people believe that the best way to succed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longerr true nowadays. discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Attaining a certificate in something is deemed as a
neccessity
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necessity
by many in
the
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apply
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society.
However
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, some people disagree with
this
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notion
because of
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for
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certain reasons.
Iam
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I am
of the opinion that tertiary
education
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is
overated
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overrated
because some individuals
excell
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excel
well in life without it.
To begin
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with, our ancestors lived fully without degrees. They survived and had better health than most people living
contemporary
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in contemporary
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.
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times.
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Another point to note is that
,
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apply
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having a university
education
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does not mean automatic success.
For example
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, most graduates in Zimbabwe are not employed despite their qualifications.
Therefore
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, I think going to university does not mean excelling in life.
On the other hand
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, certain individuals are of the thought that holding a degree is a means to success. They argue that
education
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opens opportunities which cannot be opened when uneducated. To
examplify
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exemplify
, one cannot be a doctor without
education
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.
However
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, I think
this
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is untrue because
long
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a long
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time ago and even in
this
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century
there
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, there
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are traditional doctors who did not attend any school
but
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, but
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they heal the sick . Some of their methods work better than the doctors' medication. In conclusion, I think having a degree or certificate does not guarantee any success because people who did not go to tertiary schools can make a better living than those who did.

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grammar
Fix spelling and grammar to help the reader.
coherence
Use more link words to show how ideas connect.
content
Give more real facts or examples and explain how they back your point.
structure
Make your conclusion stronger and rest your view clearly.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Examples are used to back your point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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