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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The question of which
students
Use synonyms
 are most deserving of academic rewards—solely the highest achievers or those demonstrating significant improvement—lies at the heart of educational philosophy.
While
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 acknowledging top performers has its place, I am inclined to believe that a system which prioritises the recognition of progress is fundamentally more equitable and constructive. Proponents of rewarding only the highest achievers often justify
this
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 approach by appealing to the principles of meritocracy. They contend that
such
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 a practice not only validates the exceptional diligence and talent of these
students
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 but
also
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 establishes a clear benchmark for success, thereby motivating the entire
student
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 cohort to aspire to academic excellence.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 perspective posits that schools have a responsibility to identify and nurture the most capable individuals, as they are perceived as the future drivers of national innovation and economic competitiveness.
However
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,
this
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 viewpoint is predicated on a narrow definition of merit and can be profoundly demotivating. It risks conflating innate intellectual capacity with genuine effort, often rewarding the former disproportionately. For the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 who may never attain the highest grades, despite considerable dedication, the prospect of recognition remains perpetually elusive.
Consequently
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, an exclusive focus on peak achievement may foster disillusionment and inadvertently undermine the motivation of those who strive diligently within their own capabilities.
Therefore
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, I align myself with the view that rewarding improvement is a more pedagogically sound strategy.
This
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 approach champions the core values of perseverance, personal growth, and the development of a growth mindset. A
student
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 who elevates their performance from a 'C' to an 'A' has arguably undertaken a more transformative and effortful journey than a peer who consistently scores top marks. Recognising
such
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 progress sends an empowering message to the entire classroom
:
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apply
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 that sustained effort is valued as highly as, if not more than, static ability.
This
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 fosters a more inclusive learning environment where every
student
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, regardless of their starting point, feels that their hard work can lead to tangible recognition and success. In conclusion,
while
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 the accomplishments of the most gifted
students
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 should not be disregarded, an overemphasis on rewarding only them is inherently limiting. A more holistic and effective reward system should be designed to primarily celebrate improvement, thereby affirming the value of every
student
Use synonyms
's learning journey and cultivating a more resilient and motivated academic community.

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structure
Plan before you write. Start with a clear view (thesis) and make a small plan to put ideas in a good order.
development
Use more exact examples to back each point.
coherence
Use linking words so ideas join well and the essay moves smoothly.
organization
Each paragraph has one main idea and links to the question.
content
Your view is clear and steady from start to end.
structure
You show both sides and then give your own view, which is good structure.
analysis
Reasoning flows well and the essay reads with a steady pace.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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