Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argued that being
competitve
Correct your spelling
competitive
among peers during work, learning and routine
day today
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
work
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial in life, whilst others think
this
Linking Words
could be harmful rather than being helpful.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees that competitions play
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major role in increasing
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
at work,
school
Use synonyms
and home. In Asia,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
school
Use synonyms
students face university entrance exams yearly,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
majority of them don't get an opportunity to follow
undergratuate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
courses they prefer,
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of facilities to enrol all students.
Therefore
Linking Words
, competitive candidates will
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
in due course.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
, in
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
2005
Add a comma
,
show examples
more than half of the
school
Use synonyms
students got through the university entrance exam and
Verb problem
were
show examples
selected to local universities, which was a dramatic increase in pass rates, when compared to past years. Another fact to be considered is number of job seekers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
outnumbered
than
Change preposition
by
show examples
job opportunities. So there is a competition between employees to protect their jobs by performing well to complete
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
targets.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
, the employers create contestants among workers by introducing
performence
Correct your spelling
performance
evaluation schemes, which will be helpful to get salary increments.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when there are several children in the family, they tend
Verb problem
to
show examples
become more competitive among each other to get more love and affection from parents.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
can be used in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
beneficial way by rewarding them when they
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
targets in
school
Use synonyms
exams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many suggest being
coorporate
Correct your spelling
cooperative
is more important than
compete
Wrong verb form
competing
show examples
. By helping each other, makes an
inividual
Correct your spelling
individual
more knowledgeable and sensitive. Despite
this
Linking Words
, people can be competitive
while
Linking Words
helping each other to overcome their problems.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
, siblings
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages help each other in their studies
while
Linking Words
being competitive. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
the benefits of being
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
, particularly university entrance,
performence
Correct your spelling
performance
evaluations, some still
fell
Use the right word
feel
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
that helping
show examples
each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
is more important.
However
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
as long as we carefully
the
Verb problem
consider the
show examples
benefits of becoming a competitor are clear.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Improve task response by giving a clear view from the start and balance both sides before giving your own view.
Task response
Add more specific, clear examples to back points. Use easy facts or real life cases.
Coherence and cohesion
Plan a simple map: intro with your main idea, 2 or 3 body parts each with one idea, and a short ending that restates your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas are tied, and make each paragraph have one main idea.
Grammatical range and accuracy
Fix spelling and grammar. Use short, clear sentences. Check common spellings.
Task response
The writer shows a clear view at the start.
Task response
There are some real life examples used to back points.
Coherence and cohesion
There is a simple form of plan with intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: