IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this question. ​Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion. ​You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There are many types of
sports
Use synonyms
, which are played by athletes at the national and international levels.
However
Linking Words
, some believe
plays
Correct word choice
that plays
show examples
 are crucial for learners throughout their studies,
while
Linking Words
 some do not like the choice for
students
Use synonyms
. I appreciate both views , but
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that
sports
Use synonyms
 are more important for the mental health of
students
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some people believe
plays
Correct word choice
that plays
show examples
 affect the studies of hardworking pupils. The first reason is that it is just a waste of time for scholars because they could not spend the proper time studying as much
they
Correct word choice
as they
show examples
 needed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is considered an unwise decision for some
students
Use synonyms
 because these pupils do not have an interest in
games
Use synonyms
 and feel
bore
Replace the word
bored
show examples
 in PTE
class
Use synonyms
.The best example is that if a student who is
topper
Correct article usage
a topper
show examples
,hardworking, and bright in a
class
Use synonyms
 and does not love
games
Use synonyms
 and
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 it is
boring
Correct article usage
a boring
show examples
 and dull
class
Use synonyms
, but attends the
sports
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
 for 2 hours, just because of attendance issues, it will be a waste of time for him.
In contrast
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, other says that
games
Use synonyms
 play an important role in
students
Use synonyms
' lives.First reason is that
games
Use synonyms
 help the pupils to boost their physical strength and fitness on another level.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these
students
Use synonyms
 always feel active in their classes throughout the day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, play helps them in the development of relationships in
games
Use synonyms
 like soccer and hockey
with
Change preposition
through
show examples
teamwork .Because of these
sports
Use synonyms
 opportunities, they will be able to
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
 conversations with other
Use synonyms
class mates
Use the right word
classmates
show examples
 easily.A recent survey by
Dr.
Change the punctuation
Dr
show examples
Dixit compared the
students
Use synonyms
 who do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 daily with those who do not
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise.The study involved 500 participants of diverse age
gap
Fix the agreement mistake
gaps
show examples
 and grades.It revealed a clear conclusion that
who
Correct word order
students who
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 do daily exercise are more fit and healthy.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
sports
Use synonyms
 benefit scholars in the growth of their height,body muscles,memory, and communication skills

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structure
Make a plan before you write. Start with a short intro, then two body parts for both sides, then a clear opinion.
coherence
Link ideas with better glue words. Use first, next, also, but, however, therefore.
examples
Give more real and strong examples. Each idea should have a clear example or fact.
grammar
Check grammar and form. Use simple grammar and correct spellings.
lexis
Choose the right word. Use sports, not plays. Fix wrong words.
task
End with a clear sum and restate your view. Say why you think so.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There is a clear view in the end.
examples
A relatable example is given.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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