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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people choose to quit their jobs and return to education in order to improve their skills and career prospects. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. Give your opinion.

In recent times, a new trend has been observed
that
Correct word choice
where
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 a few people were quitting their jobs and again reconsidering their education to develop new skills, which benefits their career prospects. I believe that many of them want to switch their career from what they are currently doing. There are many positive and negative sides
of
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to
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 it, which will be elaborated in the following paragraph. On the positive side, the primary reason for returning to education is that they want to gain knowledge and certifications that are essential for career advancement.
As many
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Many
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 of them have knowledge of their field, but after a certain period, they are not able to achieve promotion in their field
due to
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 not having the required qualification.
Moreover
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, many industries , especially in technology and management, demand continuous upskilling to remain competitive.
For instance
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, in a recent survey, it was observed that with the advancement in Artificial Intelligence, many individuals who do not have knowledge in it had taken short courses to gain some expertise.
However
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, there are
also
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 several drawbacks to
this
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 decision.
Firstly
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, nowadays it is very competitive to find a good job
and
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, and
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 it will
also
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 lead to financial difficulties for them.
This
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 can be particularly challenging for those who have family
responsibility
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responsibilities
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.
Secondly
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, after completing
course
Correct article usage
the course
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,
course
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apply
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 it might be difficult for them to find a new job related to what they studied. In certain cases, employers may even select a candidate with more work experience rather than one who
spent
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has spent
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 more time on educational qualifications.
To conclude
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, to stay and
to
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apply
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perform well in
this
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 competitive market, everyone needs to learn new things daily. It would be beneficial for them to give everyday few hours to learn about new technologies rather than to quit their job.

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structure
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to show the main idea.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, and to keep the flow.
content
Explain each reason with more detail and give a real example to back it up.
grammar
Check grammar and keep sentences short; avoid long runs.
content
Finish with a clear view restated and a short summary of main reasons.
purpose
The essay shows you want to discuss both sides and give your view.
structure
There is a sentence that starts with To conclude, which shows a plan for ending.
content
One point about upskilling and AI is used to back a point.
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