IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In several
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 youngsters are motivated to work or travel for one year after completing their high school and before commencing their college. The major benefit of
this
Linking Words
 approach is that travel to new places broadens their mindset
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they get to know their interests in different fields of work.
However
Linking Words
, the drawback of taking a gap year is that young people get distracted by work and travel
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which they leave their studies. On one hand, the biggest advantage of dropping a year between secondary school and university is that travelling to different places aids in expanding young
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 horizon
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes them independent.
As a result
Linking Words
, they get a better view of life and people
working
Fix capitalization
Working
show examples
 in distinct professions
assist
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 them to know their capabilities and interests.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay in four parts: intro, two body paragraphs (one for advantages, one for disadvantages), and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order and contrast, like first, also, but, however, finally.
task response
State a clear view or give a final line that sums up your answer.
examples
Give real or clear examples. For example, mention types of work or travel that help a teen learn.
content balance
The essay shows you know both sides of the issue.
relevant idea
Key ideas are present like wide view and independence.
structure
Some good use of contrast between benefit and drawback.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • trend
  • exchange
  • gap year
  • independence
  • maturity
  • finance
  • budget
  • safety
  • culture shock
  • language skills
  • soft skills
  • CV
  • resume
  • work experience
  • employability
  • career
  • deadline
  • planning
  • goal
  • program
  • volunteer
  • internship
  • certificate
  • visa
  • legal
  • accommodation
  • home
  • country
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • problem solving
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • navigation
  • itinerary
  • host country
  • codes of conduct
  • discipline
  • time management
  • self discipline
  • networks
  • connections
  • opportunity
  • risk
  • uncertainty
  • benefit
  • lesson
  • growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: