IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people says that the universities must only accept students with high mark. Others believe that universities must accept students off all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a vital role in improving students' knowledge.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that colleges should only accept upstanding applicants, there is
also
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 an argument that universities must give a chance to all pupils.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view, followed by my own opinion. On one hand, I strongly disagree that
make
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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universities
only
Verb problem
should be made only
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 for the smart scholars.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 decision has a negative impact on the individual's culture.
In addition
Linking Words
, it might cause a social issue among the community,
such
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 as
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 the crime rates,
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty and decreasing
peoples'
Check wording
people's
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 awareness.
Furthermore
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,
declining
Verb problem
apply
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the competition level in the
education
Use synonyms
 platforms
.
Verb problem
is declining.
show examples
For example
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, some research
has
Verb problem
apply
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conducted in
Correct word choice
various worldwide
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worldwide countries
Correct word order
countries worldwide
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 suggests that
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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specific students has caused many complex issues
on
Change preposition
in
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 the economic system and the quality of life.
On the other hand
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, another part of
a
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apply
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society
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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 that the higher authorities should give an opportunity to the folk, and provide the students with many benefits, like
self-improve
Use the right word
self-improvement
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, self-esteem and
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
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, which can bring greater success for the living standards. What is more, the population will receive a consistent-environment and a decent life.
For instance
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, the
education
Use synonyms
 programs in the KSA
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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free schooling for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals and
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 them a free scholarship to improve the quality of teaching. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I tend to consider that the nations should encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 to improve their knowledge and culture without any financial burden.

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overview
You answered the task and gave your view. To raise score, add clear proof for each point and fix weak grammar.
task response
Task response: Mention both sides and give a strong and clear opinion. Add more real or simple examples to back up ideas.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words to show ideas flow. Have one idea per paragraph. Check that the end of one sentence links to the next.
structure
Has clear structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Shows an effort to discuss both sides and to give own view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • competitive learning environment
  • optimally utilized resources
  • remedial support
  • inclusive
  • diverse academic environment
  • multiple perspectives
  • lifelong learning
  • second chances
  • personal and professional development
  • holistic approach
  • creativity
  • leadership potential
  • problem-solving abilities
  • well-rounded student body
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