IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about consumer spending ondifferent items in five different countries in 2002.

The table below gives information about consumer spending ondifferent items in five different countries in 2002.
The table illustrates the variations in terms of the consumption of three catalogues among five nations -
Ireland
Use synonyms
, Italy,
Spain
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Turkey in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, food/drinks/tobacco dominated the consumption in
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 countries, closely followed by clothing/
footwear
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 people spent the least on leisure/education. With regard to food/drinks/tobacco,
Turkish
Check wording
Turkey
show examples
 accounted for the highest proportion, reaching 32.14%,
follewed
Correct your spelling
followed
 by
Ireland
Use synonyms
 (28.91%).
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the other three nations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 were
Spain
Use synonyms
(8.8%), Italy(16.36%),
Use synonyms
Sweden
Correct word choice
and Sweden
show examples
(15.77%
)
Punctuation problem
),
show examples
occupied nearly half of the
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of leisure/education in
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 nations was the lowest, all below 5% which were Turkey(4.35%),
Sweden
Use synonyms
(3.32%), Italy(3.2%),
Ireland
Use synonyms
(2.21%),
Spain
Use synonyms
(1.98%), respectively. In terms of clothing/
footwear
Use synonyms
, the percentages of
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 countries were all below 10%.
Intalian
Correct your spelling
Italians
 spent 9% on it,
who
Fix the agreement mistake
which
show examples
 took up the largest share of clothing/
footwear
Use synonyms
. The proportions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothing/
footwear
Use synonyms
 in
Ireland
Use synonyms
,
Spain
Use synonyms
, and Turkey were equal, roughly
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6.5%.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the expense of clothing/
footwear
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was the lowest.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words ireland, spain, sweden, footwear with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: