IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 encourage save
money
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 even young
people
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 they should save their
money
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Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 others find saving
money
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doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
show examples
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
. From my perspective, I totally agree.
saving
Fix capitalization
Saving
show examples
money
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 is very
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importent
Correct your spelling
important
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 now with economic inflation.  On one hand, recently with the development and ads
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 see a lot of products and they
even don't
Correct word order
don't even
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 need
to
Verb problem
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the
adds
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ads
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 and influence
bost
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boost
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these products
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in addition
Linking Words
, young
people
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finds
Correct subject-verb agreement
find
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this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 to catch the trend or
bay
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buy
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 a new game even.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 were supported their idol by buying what they
ad
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had
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 to it without thinking about their
money
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 and how much
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
Use synonyms
importent
Correct your spelling
important
. So, sometimes
people
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 don't buy what they need to it really and run catch all
what
Correct word choice
that
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 is new.
People
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 must look after their
money
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 and spend it
in
Change preposition
on
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 what
really
Verb problem
is really
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 valuable and essential to them. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we must balance between
intertament
Correct your spelling
interest
 and buying commitment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
people
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 learn older
people
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 to manage their
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money
Punctuation problem
money,
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 they will not suffer in future
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
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also
Linking Words
investment
Check wording
apply
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, helpful to have another income
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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investment
Replace the word
investing
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 in gold and
brands
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branded
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 products
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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 day by day it will
raise
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 their
valuable
Replace the word
value
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.
Money
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 is very important
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 without
money
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 the humans will be without any value .
Money
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is play
Wrong verb form
plays
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 a role in our lives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 education, treatment and transport.  In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
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, saving
money
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Verb problem
is impotent
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impotent
Replace the word
important
show examples
 for all ages
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 those
who's
Verb problem
who
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 have
income
Punctuation problem
income,
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 because all of us want to live
decent
Correct article usage
a decent
show examples
 life and we all deserve it.

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task response
State a clear position at the start and keep it through the essay; the essay says 'totally agree' but balance is not discussed.
task response
Develop each idea with simple, concrete points; add a simple efficient reason and one example per paragraph.
coherence
Make a simple plan: intro with your stance, two body paragraphs with topic sentence and example, short conclusion restating stance.
coherence
Use basic linking words to connect ideas: 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition', 'for example'.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling errors: 'importent' -> 'important', 'ads' -> 'ads', 'inflation' spelled 'inflation', etc.
grammar
Limit the long run-on sentences; break into shorter sentences.
lexical resource
Use accurate vocabulary for money topics: 'save', 'spend wisely', 'budget', 'income', 'investment'.
overview
The essay shows an attempt to discuss saving money and its value.
stance
There is a clear stance of agreement.
organization
Two contrasting ideas are introduced.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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