Nowadays most people spend less time in their homes. What are the causes of it? What are the effects on society and individuals?

Today, more people get out

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

home

Use synonyms

than in the past when they want to have a good time. In my opinion,

well develop

Use the right word

well-developed

show examples

outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

lead them to go out, and they

also

Linking Words

have prioritized

Wrong verb form

prioritise

show examples

hanging out

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

staying at

home

Use synonyms

. I strongly believe that

this

Linking Words

movement will bring economic gains in

leisure

Correct article usage

the leisure

show examples

industries, and it will give opportunities to lessen their stress.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are

ore

Use the right word

show examples

places to entertain

something

Check wording

apply

show examples

than before. Previously, being at

home

Use synonyms

had its own worth, because there

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

nothing to do outside.

Whereas

Linking Words

, it is possible for now generations to find

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

somewhere to go and enjoy.

For example

Linking Words

, a shopping centre plays

Correct article usage

the

show examples

role of a role of multi-functional place, providing lots of clothing and accessories shops, restaurants, groceries, and even movie cinemas.

Secondly

Linking Words

, today individuals have a view

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

seem

Verb problem

are more

show examples

desirable than indoor ones. In a human

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

research, 80% of subjects answered that they could feel productive and active when they went out, so

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

expert suggested that positive memories about being out of the

home

Use synonyms

help them be out again. From

this

Linking Words

trend, the financial growth of the leisure industry is expected, because there are not enough sites and the number of

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

to meet the demands. The rising demand for outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

, and crowds’ willingness

of paying

Change preposition

to pay

show examples

money for fun will lead

Change preposition

to the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

expended

Use the right word

expanded

show examples

industry, which is related

with

Change preposition

show examples

the raised employment rate, and a huge profit for investors.

Finally

Linking Words

, people can manage their stress by enjoying their time in nature, which is important for dropping the rate of outbreak of mental diseases, namely depression, anxiety and personality disability. In conclusion, being out of the

home

Use synonyms

is a fresh trend because of many fun

activities

Use synonyms

outside and the value of going out.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can expect

grown

Wrong verb form

growing

show examples

business models for the leisure

, and

Check wording

industry, and

show examples

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

environment for releasing individuals’ stress.

dain991201

Oct 31, 2025

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Structure

Plan your essay with a clear map: one part on causes and one on effects, plus a short intro and a short conclusion.

Content

State a main idea first in each paragraph, then give a simple reason or example to back it up.

Language

Use linking words to join ideas: also, because, so, as a result, however.

Language

Check word use and grammar to avoid errors like 'ore' or 'well develop'. Replace with 'more' and 'we will develop'.

Language

Keep words simple and short. Use common verbs and stay in the present when you talk about facts.

Structure

End with a short conclusion that restates the two main ideas.

Idea

The essay shows a clear idea that more places to go out can shape how people act.

Evidence

The writer gives some real examples, like a shopping centre, to back points.

Content

There is an opinion and a view about the effect on work in leisure industry.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Nowadays most people spend less time in their homes. What are the causes of it? What are the effects on society and individuals?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.