IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years , criminal
Use synonyms
trails
Use the right word
trials
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 shown on television for the public .
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that showing
Use the right word
trials
show examples
trails
Use synonyms
 to the public is very harmful to
people
Use synonyms
 , I would argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
.since
Correct your spelling
Since
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness by knowing the consequences of the crimes , and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them learn from the
criminals
Check wording
criminals'
show examples
 mistakes . One major advantage of revealing what happens in the courts is the
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 will know the devastating consequences of crimes . Showing criminal
trails
Use synonyms
 in the technology platforms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
reliase
Correct your spelling
realise
 what the
reuslts
Correct your spelling
results
 of crimes
.
Verb problem
are.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
 , , person who
borned
Wrong verb form
was born
show examples
 in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 . was
planing
Use the right word
planning
show examples
to conduct a serious crime that
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 explode
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 newspaper , radio and television . Surprisingly , he had changed his
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 after he saw a
bruital
Correct your spelling
brutal
 way of
executive
Replace the word
executing
show examples
 a criminal in the court .
This
Linking Words
 example
demomstrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 one small action can
lead to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prevent a crime
to happen
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
. Another major advantage is providing a
stroies
Correct your spelling
story
 that will help
people
Use synonyms
 significantly . Take myself as an example , I
learend
Correct your spelling
learned
 a lot of things by
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 the
criminals
Check wording
criminals'
show examples
 stories in the courts and who they are very
regratful
Correct your spelling
grateful
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 what they did . In conclusion , showing criminal
trails
Use synonyms
 is very helpful to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 awareness by knowing the
consequnces
Correct your spelling
consequences
, and may
be can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prevent
such
Linking Words
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
to happen
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , it
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the public to learn from their mistakes and their experience

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view, then a short plan of what you will say.
planning
Make each paragraph start with a clear line that names the point you will discuss.
grammar
Use simple, clear grammar. Check spell and word use like 'crime', 'trials', 'consequences'.
examples
Give strong, real examples that match your point. Avoid weak or unclear examples.
content
You show a view that advantages can be seen as bigger than problems.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
content
Some ideas show how the topic can influence people.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: