IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that schools should teach students how to become good parents in the future. Others think that this is not the responsibility of schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Education holds paramount significance in shaping the
future
Use synonyms
 of the nation.
However
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, many people think that it is the responsibility of educational institutions to teach their
students
Use synonyms
 about good parenting for the
future
Use synonyms
,
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;
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 some argue that
schools
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 are not responsible for
this
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. From my perspective,
schools
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 may play a little role in
this
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, but it is the
parent's
Check wording
parents'
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 responsibility to teach their
kids
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 about good parenting.
This
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 essay will explore both the views in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs. On the one hand, most of the teachers are role models for their
students
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.
This
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 is because learners always listen and imitate the actions of their tutors. So, if
schools
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 make it mandatory to teach
kids
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 about good parenting skills,
students
Use synonyms
 will definitely follow it. And without various
efforts
Add a comma
efforts,
show examples
schools
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 can make a substantial contribution
in
Change preposition
to
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 making
students
Use synonyms
 good guardians in
future
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.
For instance
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, a recent study by Oxford University illustrates that 65% of individuals always follow the rules and morals which they have learnt in their school times
especially
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, especially
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 from their extremely favourite teachers.
On the other hand
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,
kids
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 spend most of their time with their
parents
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 and they first learn
from
Change preposition
at
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 home
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 in
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. The way their
parents
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 are treating them, most probably they will do the same in
future
Use synonyms
 because they learn from their actions.
For example
Linking Words
, if
parents
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 stop their
kids
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 from using electronic gadgets
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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, their
kids
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 will do the exact same thing when they are
parents
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.
This
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 is the psychological behaviour of humans, things they have not done in their childhood, their
kids
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 will
also
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 not do that. The reason behind
this
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 is that they learnt the drawbacks of that particular habit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they do not want their offspring to follow that.
Therefore
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, what they learnt in their childhood will
be coming
Wrong verb form
come
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 back when they
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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parents
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. In conclusion, it is a responsibility of both
parents
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 and
schools
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 to teach the
kids
Use synonyms
 about good parenting;
however
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,
parents
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 play a pivotal role in
this
Linking Words
- they spend most of their time with
kids
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 should be more precise about
morals
Correct article usage
the morals
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 and values they want their
kids
Use synonyms
 to follow in the near
future
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.

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task
State your main view clearly in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
content
Give more real examples and explain them.
grammar
Keep sentences short and clear; avoid long chains of words.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and contrast.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea with a clear topic sentence.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two bodies and a conclusion.
coherence
Good use of on the one hand / on the other hand.
content
The view is clear and you give a view for each side.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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