IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Multiple high-ranked politicians receive higher monthly payments than lower-ranked and younger coworkers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many people do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 treatment.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with their point of view. It is not right to envy your boss or the higher-ranked people in your workplace for what they earn.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because when you are in a higher-ranking job, you have more tasks and are responsible for others.
Also
Linking Words
, they had to put in a lot of
work
Use synonyms
 and dedication to reach that position. Being a manager or someone who is responsible for other workers is very tough and exhausting. They should be paid what they deserve. When I was working as a firefighter, I used to keep an eye on my fire chief. The way he handled our
work
Use synonyms
 responsibilities was very challenging for him.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think he deserves his high salary. These types of people have had to
exceed
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
 many challenges to be where they are. Some of them earned more degrees, and others had to
work
Use synonyms
 for more years. So,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 they deserve what they earn. In conclusion, we can clearly see why
this
Linking Words
 should not be your mindset when you have someone above you as a boss or higher-ranked employee. They
work
Use synonyms
 very hard and have more responsibilities than you do, and they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to put in a lot of effort to be where they are.

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Task response
Make your view clear in the first line. State your main idea and keep to it.
Task response
Give one or two strong reasons with a short example for each.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear links to move from one idea to the next. Start new ideas with a topic sentence.
Coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in short paragraphs. Each paragraph should hold one main point.
Lexical resource
Use the same basic words all through if possible. This keeps simple words.
Grammar
Check that your verb forms are right and stay in the same tense.
Task response
Your view is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
You give a real life example from work.
Coherence and cohesion
There is a clear end that repeats your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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