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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below show the number of car produced in three different countries from 2003 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releveant

The line graph below show the number of car produced in three different countries from 2003 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where releveant
The line chart illustrates the proportion of cars produced in the period of 2003 to 2009 in three different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows that the highest number ever reached was by
Australia
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, followed
up
Change preposition
apply
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closely by
Thailand
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 Argentina was the dominant in
2003
Punctuation problem
2003,
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 it declined to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the lowest by 2009. Taking a closer look. Argentina produced around 400 cars in 2003, which was the highest among other nations, yet it decreased significantly, reaching 200 in 2005 and continued to decline to 100 in 2009.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Australia
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 and
Thailand
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 were close to each other, starting with 300 and 161, respectively. Both of them climb over the years as
Thailand
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 steadily increases, recording its highest number in 2009 with 999.
While
Linking Words
Australia
Use synonyms
 demonstrates a huge rise in 2005, reaching its peak with 1119 cars, approximately triple what it had in 2005. In summary, as
Australia
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 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
's numbers grow as the years pass, Argentina drops, showing the lowest number ever.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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