IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In society,
life
Use synonyms
 has changed a great deal,
espeicaly
Correct your spelling
especially
 in
the
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 hard
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to earn
Use synonyms
mony
Correct your spelling
money
. Some
people
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 disagree the
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
 hard
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
for
geting
Correct your spelling
getting money
mony
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
 ,other
people
Use synonyms
 agree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 alternative
points
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard
work
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 and
geting
Correct your spelling
getting money
mony
Use synonyms
 have a hard relationship.
This
Linking Words
 topic will determine the key information to support the idea. On the one hand, in terms of disagreements, there are many benefits.
Firat
Use the right word
First
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,the happy
team
Use the right word
teamwork
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work
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 is the primary
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points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
Linking Words
For
Punctuation problem
. For
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 break
time
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the happy
time
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 and
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
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 the body from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 random
life
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 styleSecond,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ampition
Correct your spelling
ambition
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smart point
Punctuation problem
. the
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the creative
Correct determiner usage
Creative
show examples
 writing
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 to be smart in
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
both work
show examples
 and
life
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.
Finslly
Correct your spelling
Finally
,
Linking Words
According
Fix capitalization
according
show examples
 to Kuwait College Studies, 90% of
people
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work
Use synonyms
 hard to get a happy
life
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 10%
people
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diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 main
points
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. they prefer the hard
work
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 to get
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mony
Correct your spelling
money
 and to save the
time
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 from random
damege
Correct your spelling
damage
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in terms of agreement, there are many
disagreements
Check wording
apply
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points
Use synonyms
.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 the health problem is the major point.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 back problem is the public problem.
Second
Add a comma
Second,
show examples
 the
lose
Replace the word
loss
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 of
thelife
Correct your spelling
the
Use synonyms
time
Use the right word
lifetime
show examples
 is another major tip.
Finally
Linking Words
, the family
time
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 , in the hard
work
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, has a
nigative
Correct your spelling
negative
 outcome
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 it affects the emotional impact . In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, there are many benefits.
However
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, there are many hard tips.
Thus
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,
people
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 recommend the worker follow the right tips for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive marks and
best
Correct word choice
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.

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General
Your view is not clear. Pick one side about work and money and stick to it.
Structure
Make a plan: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
Style
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
Grammar
Use simple grammar. Check verb forms and spellings.
Examples
Give one real example or fact to back your point.
Punctuation
Use punctuation well and join words with 'and', 'but', 'so', etc.
Strategy
The writer tries to answer the question with both sides.
Content
There is some idea of cause and effect.
Language
The essay has some good link words.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
What to do next:
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