IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many parents try to teach their children themselves rather than sending them to
school
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 in a lot of countries. I personally believe that
school
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 is not just about education and different courses , but it has more benefits. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of both opinions. On the
one
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 hand, different
kids
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 with different backgrounds and family histories can conflict with each other , which is the starting point of a lot of problems in schools. When
kids
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 grow up in an unsafe family environment. They have hidden anger , and if they find someone younger than them or they feel they can beat them. They will make the
school
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 unsafe for
others
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.
For instance
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, when I was a kid in my own
school
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, there were some
kids
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 who bullied
others
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, and most of them had big family issues. So teaching at home for some
kids
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 who can not defend themselves sometimes is necessary.
On the other hand
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,
School
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 is not just about studying. It is the first step for any human being to step into society and make connections with
others
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. When students start
school
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, they start real life where they have to do teamwork, make
friends
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, and be responsible. Teamwork teaches us how to do our part of the job and help
others
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. Making
friends
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 is an essential skill in adulthood when we want to work in a company or get married. And responsibility is the most vital practice in our lives.
For example
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, I had two
friends
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 ,
one
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 of them was too clever , but he could not make
friends
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, and
one
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 of them was not that clever , but he could make connections and have chats with
others
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. With the same major, the chaty
one
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 nowadays is more successful than
others
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.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 sometimes teaching our
kids
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 at home is inevitable, they learn most skills in
school
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 and with
others
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. Skills that are crucial to their life.

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task response
State your clear view in the opening and keep it in the body as you add points.
structure
Plan the essay: intro with your plan, then 2 or 3 main ideas, each with a short example, then a clear ending.
coherence
Keep ideas easy to read. Use simple link words like first, also, but, however, and for example to move ideas.
support
Give one clear example with each point to show your idea.
task
The essay tries to talk about both sides and uses some real examples.
coherence
Link words like On the one hand and On the other hand show a sense of flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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