The increasing reliance on the Internet and digital technology is having a detrimental effect on people’s ability to focus and think critically. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that
people
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depend more on the
Internet
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and digital technology in their daily lives. Some believe that
this
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trend harms our ability to concentrate and think deeply. I agree with
this
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view, other factors should
also
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be considered,
newertheles
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nevertheless
. Nowadays, the
Internet
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provides endless entertainment and information.
That is
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to say, they can easily distract users.
For instance
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, social media notifications or short videos make it hard for
people
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to focus on one task for a long time.
As a result
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, many students and workers struggle to pay attention
during
Change preposition
while
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studying or
meetings
Verb problem
attending meetings
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. If it were not for constant digital distractions,
people
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could stay more focused and productive.
Thus
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,
people
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must move away from the
internet
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as much as possible.
However
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, the
Internet
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and digital technology can
also
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help
people
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make better decisions.
In other words
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,
people
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can rely on online information,
such
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as weather reports, to plan their day more effectively.
For example
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, in the morning, anyone can check the weather forecast before going out, which helps them decide what to wear or whether to take an umbrella.
Consiquently
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Consequently
, the
Internet
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makes life more convenient and helps
people
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stay prepared for different situations.
Therefore
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, we can not say the
internet
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is
Verb problem
apply
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only
having
Wrong verb form
has
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a harmful effect on
people
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. In conclusion,
although
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growing dependence on the
Internet
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and digital tools negatively affects our focus and thinking skills,
people
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should use technology wisely and try to balance online activities.

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task response
Be clear about your main view in the intro and keep it in the end. Do not mix a strong agree with a mixed view.
task response
Use one idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear sentence that links to your view. Use short, plain sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make the flow better with simple links between ideas and keep the parts easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Give exact examples and explain them. The examples are general here; add detail on how the internet distracts or helps.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix words like nevertheless and Consequently, and use proper punctuation.
task response
The essay shows an effort to talk about both sides and ends with a balanced idea.
coherence
Some examples are written to back up the points.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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