IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.

The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.
The table illustrates the percentages of people from three different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who preferred various types of TV programs in a European country in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, younger viewers showed a strong preference for
cartoons
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 older
age
Use synonyms
 groups tended to favour
news
Use synonyms
 and
feature
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
. Preferences for soap operas and TV dramas were relatively low across all
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Among those aged 11 to 15,
cartoons
Use synonyms
 were the most popular, attracting 29% of viewers, followed by
sports
Use synonyms
 at 22%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 6% of
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group watched the
news
Use synonyms
, the lowest figure recorded in the table. For the 15–20
age
Use synonyms
 group,
feature
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
 became the most preferred type of program (23%),
while
Linking Words
cartoons
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
 both attracted 18% of viewers. Interest in
news
Use synonyms
 programs increased significantly to 19%. Among adults aged 21–25, the pattern shifted again, with
news
Use synonyms
 emerging as the most popular choice (23%), slightly ahead of
feature
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
 (20%) and
sports
Use synonyms
 (21%).
Cartoons
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, declined sharply to just 4%, making them the least preferred among
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group. In summary, as
age
Use synonyms
 increased, interest in
cartoons
Use synonyms
 declined dramatically,
whereas
Linking Words
 preference for
news
Use synonyms
 and
feature
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
 rose steadily.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, cartoons, sports, news, feature, films with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: