IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.
The line chart illustrates the information about fast food (
pizza
Use synonyms
,
hamburgers
Use synonyms
, fish and chips) eaten by
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Australian teenagers.
Overall
Linking Words
, fish and chips consumption over the years had dropped
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
meanwhile
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
eating
Correct word choice
while eating
show examples
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 had an upward trend until 1995. Before 1975, consumption of fish and chips by a teenager was 100
times
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
year
Use synonyms
, which was the highest and favourite fast food among them.
However
Linking Words
, after dropping the number around 83
times
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1980 and a slight rise in 1895, there was a rapid downward trend to less than 40
times
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Regarding
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
, the amount of time eaten in a
year
Use synonyms
 was just around 10 in 1975.
However
Linking Words
, in 10 years of
time
Add a comma
time,
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consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 rose to more than 80
times
Use synonyms
 in 1985.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total number of pizzas eaten by teenagers was just around 40
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the same
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, both
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 remained steady after 1995 , which was just around 80 and 100
times
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, hamburgers, times, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just around" was used 3 times.
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