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Writing Samples
Band 7

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.
Two pie charts illustrate the proportions of prime sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the UAS in the 1980s and 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both years use of
oil based
Use the right word
oil-based
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 is much higher , but hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the least.
However
Linking Words
, roughly
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
half of the
energy
Use synonyms
 was produced by both natural gas and coal combined. In the 1980s, oil-based
energy
Use synonyms
 was the prime source
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it took 42% of the total proportion, which is the highest among all the sources.
However
Linking Words
, coal and natural gas-based
power
Use synonyms
 played a big role , which was 48% in total, roughly half of
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 produced in the 1980s. In the meantime, both hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
-based
energy
Use synonyms
 were only 5% , which was the least among them.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in the 1990s, use of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 rose by 5% making it 10% in total and use of
oil based
Use the right word
oil-based
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 dropped around 11% making it 33% which is one third of total
power
Use synonyms
 produced.
However
Linking Words
, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 based
power
Use synonyms
 remained the same in the following year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sources of energy
  • predominant
  • renewables
  • nuclear
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • trends
  • overall
  • preference
  • shifts
  • implications
  • future energy landscape
  • decades
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