IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet, and are using the Internet to socialize with others. this has can lead to a number of dangerous situation which can be threatening for children.what problem do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can this problem be solved?

In the modern era, the internet has become an essential part of
children
Check wording
children's
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 lives.
While
Linking Words
 children use it without parental supervision, they are
involving
Wrong verb form
involved in
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 several serious issues that can affect their lifestyles.
Although
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 have
raisen
Correct your spelling
risen
 significantly because of
this
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 trend, there are various solutions. First and foremost, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a wide range of problems of
this
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 trend. One feasible issue is that it impacts
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
teenager
Check wording
teenager's
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 lifestyles.
Hence
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, they are
influence
Replace the word
influenced
show examples
 by social
media
Use synonyms
 to show aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and sometimes
Verb problem
get involves
show examples
involves
Wrong verb form
involved
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 in crime.
For instance
Linking Words
, research by the UK Human Research Laboratory has demonstrated that the British children
behavior are
Verb problem
is
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 becoming more
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 compared
in
Change preposition
to
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 the past. On the grounds that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 a majority of the kids are unable
proper
Verb problem
to receive proper
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 parental supervision.
In addition
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,
excevie
Correct your spelling
excessive
 screen times
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also
Verb problem
are also
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 a huge issue ,which
effect
Use the right word
affects
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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education. Because of
, teenagers
Correct pronoun usage
this, teenagers
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 are addicted
in
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Online games and social
media
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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such
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 as Facebook , Twitter
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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Instragram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
.
For example
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,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 recent survey showed that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 more than 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
kids
Change preposition
of kids
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 are spending more time
in
Change preposition
on
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 social
media
Use synonyms
instead
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 of academic education.
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other
than
Use the right word
hand
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, there are
also
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 some solutions
of
Change preposition
to
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this
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 trend.
one
Fix capitalization
One
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 of the most
Correct word choice
effective solution
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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 is that
parents
Use synonyms
 should
more
Verb problem
raise more
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 awareness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parenting.
when
Fix capitalization
When
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parents
Use synonyms
 spend more time
on
Change preposition
with
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 their kids. It's
assist
Verb problem
an asset
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 to build strong relationships. In
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
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for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example, the
japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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 government provide mandatory
session
Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
show examples
 for
parents
Use synonyms
 that teach
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parenting.
Finally
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, the authorities
taken
Verb problem
have taken
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 some responsibility for internet
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
.
Therefore
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, the governments can enforce age restrictions for social
media
Use synonyms
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 and enhance
out-door
Use the right word
outdoor
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 activities
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the academic
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
. In conclusion,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 lots of negative
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
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 that directly affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyles and education.
However
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, the government and
parents
Use synonyms
 should take various steps to
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 these 
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map. Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a short intro and finish with a short end.
language
Use easy words and fix big grammar and spelling errors. Use signal words to link ideas.
content
Give real, simple examples that fit the idea. Do not add facts you cannot back up.
task
There is an attempt to discuss both problems and ideas for solutions.
coherence
Some sentences show a plan with linking words.
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