IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in
Fix capitalization
In
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 recent years, the issue of gender equality in
high
Correct word choice
higher
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 education has sparked widespread discussion. Some people argue that
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 should admit equal numbers of male and female students in every
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
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 to promote gender balance.
However
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
from
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may
Use the right word
my
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 perspective,
this
Linking Words
 proposal is not fully reasonable.
Firstly
Linking Words
，it
is
Verb problem
apply
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ignores the link between personality traits and
Correct article usage
the subjects
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subjects
Check wording
subject's
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 needs.
For example
Linking Words
,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 have stronger technological and logical thinking, which fits fields like engineering or computer science.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
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,
by contrast
Linking Words
,
often
Verb problem
are often
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 skilled in communication and caring
others
Change preposition
for others
show examples
, are good at majors like education or nursing. Forcing equal enrollment would
wast
Use the right word
waste
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 talent and lower their learning motivation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it goes against
practical
Correct article usage
the practical
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 needs of different subjects and industries. Engineering now
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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 a shortage
for
Change preposition
of
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 professionals.Limiting male enrollment could slow down subject construction the hurt economic development.
Similarly
Linking Words
, forcing more men into nursing than needed may cause graduate unemployment and waste educational resources.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 policy could go against the fairness of education.University enrollment should depend on students' academic performance and abilities, not
strict
Change preposition
on strict
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 gender.If a subject has more qualified female applicants, rejecting some just to meet the “equal number” rule is unfair to talented women. In conclusion, equal numbers in every subject are impractical. Universities should let students choose based on their traits, balancing equality with practical needs.

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task response
State a clear position in the opening and restate it in the conclusion.
task response
Add more precise and real examples to back each point.
task response
Explain how each idea links to the prompt and show why the view is fair.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go together, like first, next, finally, and also.
coherence
Keep sentences clear and not too long; fix punctuation to avoid run on sentences.
response
Clear stance is shown against the proposal
structure
Good order with clear use of first/second/third
structure
Overall structure is easy to follow
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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