IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart indicates how many adults
join in
Wrong verb form
joined
show examples
 seven different
flied
Use the right word
field
show examples
 sports in a particular region in 1997 and 2017
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of participants in two years of tennis
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 the peak,
while
Linking Words
 the rates between golf and swimming
almost
Verb problem
are almost
show examples
 the same,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
resemble
Replace the word
resemblance
show examples
 can be seen in football and rugby. The
figure
Use synonyms
 shows the same
decrease
Replace the word
decreasing
show examples
 trend during the reperiod. The tennis rates in 1997 and 2017 started at
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 50
people
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
maintain
Wrong verb form
be maintained
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 in 1997, the
figure
Use synonyms
significant decrease
Replace the word
significantly decreased
show examples
 to under 10
people
Use synonyms
 attending basketball and rose slightly to under 30
people
Use synonyms
 in
criket
Correct your spelling
cricket
. The participants in 2017
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dradually
Correct your spelling
gradual
 decrease to under 10
people
Use synonyms
 in
criket
Correct your spelling
cricket
. The
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four sports show the different patterns.
While
Linking Words
 the rates of golf, swimming, football and
rugbly
Correct your spelling
rugby
 in 1997
maintains
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
 around 31 to 35
people
Use synonyms
. The
figure
Use synonyms
 of participants in 2017
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
gradually increased
Replace the word
gradual increase
show examples
, which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
began at 30
people
Use synonyms
 in golf and slightly rose to under 50
people
Use synonyms
 in rugby.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
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