Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices oneveryday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

he
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The
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issue of whether
children
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should make their own
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decision
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decisions
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on daily matters has sparked widespread debate. Some suggest that the practice fosters selfish individuals,
while
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others argue it is crucial for their development. Both views hold merit, and a balanced approach is the key to nurturing a well-rounded person. Critics argue that allowing kids to decide everything from food to
entertaiment
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entertainment
can lead to egocentric
behavior
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behaviour
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. When
children
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get used to having their own way, they may fail to
aware
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be aware
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the
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of the
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importance of considering others' needs.
For example
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, a child who always chooses their dishes for family meals may grow up ignoring the
preference
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preferences
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of siblings or parents. Over time,
this
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mindset could extend to social interactions, making it hard for them to collaborate with peers or respect collective decisions. In extreme cases,
such
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individuals might
prioritize
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prioritise
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personal desires over social responsibilities, weakening community bonds.
On the other hand
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, making appropriate choices is vital to cultivate an array of abilities which contribute to their growth. Making
decision
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render them
develop
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apply
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independence
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independent
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and
critical
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develops critical
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thinking skills. When a child selects his own clothes, he would learn about personal style
,
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apply
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and even budgeting.
Similarly
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, choosing their
after school
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after-school
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activities encourages them to explore interests and take ownership of their lives. These experiences build confidence and resilience, qualities that prepare them for adult life, where they will face far more complex decisions about education, careers, and relationships. It's
obviously
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obvious
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that a teenager who has long arranged their study schedules is more likely to manage university coursework independently than one who has never made
such
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choices. In my opinion, the key lies in balancing freedom and guidance, not denying
children
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the right to choose what they want. Meanwhile, parents and educators play a role
to set
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in setting
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boundaries and
teach
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teaching
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empathy when
children
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are making a
decision
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.
For instance
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, a child can choose between two healthy meal options but should consider
about
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apply
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the whole
families'
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family's
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preference
matter
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apply
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.
Adult
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Adults
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should
also
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explain the consequences of choices,
such
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as how spending money on toys means less for family outings. In
this
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case,
children
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would learn to make
choice
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choices
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responsibly, taking others'
demand
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demands
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into consideration.
To sum up
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,
while
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unrestricted choice may risk fostering selfishness, denying the opportunities of
children
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making
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decision
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decisions
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hinders their development. Striking a balance between the two
approach
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approaches
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would help
children
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grow into
independenct
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independent
, empathetic individuals who can contribute positively to
the
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apply
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society.

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task response
The essay has two sides and a view. It is a good start but each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a strong example.
coherence
Link ideas in easier form. Use short link words like and, but, so, also. Start each paragraph with a clear line.
language
Check spelling and fix grammar. Some words are wrong, like entertaiment, and phrases such as 'It's obviously that' need change. Use plain form.
strength
Balanced view on the issue.
strength
Clear opening and close to the topic.
strength
Some good examples to show thinking.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
Look at other essays: