IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it’s appropriate for children to learn a foreign language in primary school. Does the advantage of this outweigh its disadvantage?

While
Linking Words
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 widely
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 that it should be compulsory for children to learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in elementary schools. In my point of view, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon would
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 more merits than harm.
Firstly
Linking Words
, kids are at the best age to learn and with their studious nature
often
Punctuation problem
, often
show examples
 making them curious about their surroundings, and they are equipped with the ability to process information faster than any adults.
Thus
Linking Words
, academic institutions should take advantage
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 phenomenon and provide younglings with an education
consists
Correct pronoun usage
that consists
show examples
 of a
language
Use synonyms
 aside from their mother tongue.
For instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 developed and developing nations tend to
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
 English or Spanish as the second
language
Use synonyms
 in schools, which could vary
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the country and the region where the schools are located
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, making the young generation become bilingual or even
multi-lingual
Use the right word
multilingual
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having a foreign tongue would be very beneficial for the younger generation in
globalizing
Change the spelling
globalising
show examples
 and
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a global citizen. In times like
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 where
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 is advancing
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 hour, being able to communicate and contribute ideas to society will be the utmost priority that we should aim to achieve
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 having a second
language
Use synonyms
 or an additional one would indubitably be very beneficial.
For example
Linking Words
, many young children with
extrodinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
 talent have been able to attend international
contest
Fix the agreement mistake
contests
show examples
 not only
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 their profession but
also
Linking Words
 their use of
language
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, for children to know more than one
language
Use synonyms
,especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the ones in primary
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 needed. In conclusion, the belief that kids should
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 for themselves more than one
language
Use synonyms
 in primary school
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 me,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will bring more advantages than disadvantages.

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development
Show both sides by saying what could be bad, not just the good part.
grammar
Use simple grammar. Check common mistakes and fix them.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and link ideas with simple words.
examples
Give real and clear examples to back points.
content
The essay has a clear goal to argue for benefits.
structure
It tries to use a step structure with 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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