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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people suffer from lack of sleep what are the main causes of this problem and what effects Can it have on individuals and Society

There is no denying the fact that the main impacts of sleep deprivation are not arguable.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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phenomnon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 and give some consequences of less sleep on
people
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 and their surroundings.
To begin
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 with, there are several factors that contribute
in
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to
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 affecting
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a person
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person
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person's
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restfullness
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restfulness
.
People
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 have
become
Verb problem
been
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 using their
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
 before
sleep
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bedtime
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time
Use synonyms
 increasingly, which can lead to
less
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poorer
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 sleep quality.
For instance
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, a man may open his phone to check his email or to watch
YouTupe
Correct your spelling
YouTube
 videos.
As a result
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, he spends a long
time
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 on the screen and passes his sleep
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
.
Then
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, he
sleep
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sleeps
show examples
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 hours than
what
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apply
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he needs
for
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apply
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.
Moreover
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, traditions of some societies may
enforce
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encourage
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 individuals to go to their beds later.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, it
has
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is
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 known that wedding parties start at 11 pm.
Therefore
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,
this
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 would have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
person's
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a person's
show examples
 sleep
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
. In terms of the effects of sleep deprivation, there are several negative effects on
people
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 and society. Less sleep
affect
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affects
show examples
 individuals' mental health, because it causes anxiety
,
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apply
show examples
 and stress.
Moreover
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, it can impact
social
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the social
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 interactions of
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, if a woman who
slept
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sleeps
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less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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houres
Use the right word
hours
show examples
in
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on
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 a regular basis, she may feel stressed during the day.
Then
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, she may choose
to not
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not to
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 talk to her colleagues at her work, and
therfore
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therefore
, her relationships will be affected and she may
loos
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lose
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 some
opprtunities
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opportunities
 in her career. In conclusion, there are different causes of sleep deprivation,
such
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 as increased screen
time
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 before
bed
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bedtime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and cultural factors. It is
also
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 true that it has negative results on
individuals's
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individuals'
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 health and
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 social networks.

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task response
Answer both parts of the question with clear detail. Add more on why sleep loss happens and more on its harms for life and health.
planning
Plan the essay: a short intro, 2 or 3 body parts, and a short end. Keep the plan in mind while you write.
coherence
Use link words to show how ideas fit and to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix easy errors in spelling and form to make the read smoother.
examples
Use real and clear examples that fit the point you make.
structure
The essay has a clear intro and a clear end.
content
It shows more than one idea about causes and more about effects.
evidence
The examples tried to support ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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