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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products.

The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products.
The process provides key information about the growth and production of pineapples. Foremost, it requires about five to seven months from the beginning to the end
to
Change preposition
of
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 formation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it undergoes
through
Change preposition
apply
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a long procedure.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that it
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 a medium temperature to grow, which
not
Verb problem
is not
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 above 30
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the diagram illustrates that the pineapples have a massive weight, about 2 kg, and
30
Verb problem
are 30
show examples
 cm in height.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, after the immature phase, it goes
in
Change preposition
through
show examples
 various stages.
First,
Linking Words
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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 phase with
original
Correct article usage
the original
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 water.
Next,
Linking Words
separated them
according to
Linking Words
 their size. Afterwards, the small ones
put
Verb problem
are put
show examples
 in
extractor
Correct article usage
an extractor
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 after
remove
Wrong verb form
removing
show examples
 the outer layer to make it
as
Change preposition
into
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh juice.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the medium core cut it
as
Change preposition
into
show examples
 sliders and packed it in a designated box.
Finally
Linking Words
, the big capsule that made up an extreme factor to enhance the economic situation
due to
Linking Words
exported
Replace the word
exports
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 to distinct countries by
ships
Fix the agreement mistake
ship
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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