IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that volunteer work should be a requirement for teenagers in high schools (for instance working for a charity). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many schools are offering
extra curricular
Use the right word
extracurricular
show examples
 activities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 to
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
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 in charity
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 or
to do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
volunteer work
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 favour
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision, but there are some people who disagree with it. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 kind of
Fix the agreement mistake
participation
show examples
participations
Punctuation problem
participations,
show examples
 it benefits them in many ways
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
 for it will be described in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraph
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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relevant
Change preposition
with relevant
show examples
 examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it allows them to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 some of their time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contributing to meaningful activities apart from their daily schedule. It will help them to engage with
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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 all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to gain some practical experience and personal growth beyond academic learning.
For instance
Linking Words
, when students participate in activities
such
Linking Words
 as helping at food banks or assisting elderly people, it helps them to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 empathy, teamwork and communication skills, which sometimes are not taught in the classroom.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 experience may
aspire
Verb problem
inspire
show examples
 them for their future and to explore career paths in healthcare, social work and more.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 help in
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 discipline and a sense of
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 among them.
For example
Linking Words
, from a recent survey by Harvard School, the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who were enrolled in
charity
Correct article usage
a charity
show examples
 event, a difference in their nature has been observed as
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to those who were not, like they tend to talk more politely with their teachers and other staff.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to reduce stress and improve emotional well-being.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that volunteer work should be a
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 part of a high school. It not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 teenager acquire essential
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
nurture
Correct subject-verb agreement
nurtures
show examples
 their moral values and commitment towards the community.

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grammar
Use simple, clear grammar. Many sentences have wrong forms. Fix verbs like spend (not spent), develop (not develope), and be careful with plural forms.
structure
Line up ideas in order. Start with a clear opening that states you agree. Then add reasons one by one. End with a simple, direct conclusion.
content
Give one or two strong, real examples. Make sure these are easy to check and true. Avoid doubtful or unclear facts such as claims about specific surveys without sources.
content
The essay shows a clear stance that volunteer work should be compulsory.
structure
The use of linking words like Firstly, Furthermore, and Lastly shows some effort at organising ideas.
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