IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that educational success is based on good teachers and others believe that it depends on students' attitudes. Discuss both the views.

Some
people
Use synonyms
's opinion is that educational
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 is based on children
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
 a good teacher.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
's opinion is opposite. They think that the reason
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on
student's
Correct article usage
the student's
show examples
 attitude. I will discuss these two views
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 article.
First,
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
 think that educational success is based on
childent
Correct your spelling
children
meet
Replace the word
meeting
show examples
 good
teachers
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
Use synonyms
Hong
Correct article usage
the Hong
show examples
Kong
Use synonyms
 government have
participle
Use the right word
participated
show examples
Use synonyms
teachers
Change preposition
in teachers
show examples
to join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 a lot of activities.
For example
Linking Words
, workshops and teaching learning classes.
Also
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Hong
Correct article usage
the Hong
show examples
Kong
Use synonyms
 government
enhance
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
teahers
Correct your spelling
teachers
 to learn more
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of their working time. They may
enhance
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 to upgrade their education. So, these can improve
teachers
Use synonyms
' teaching skills. If
teachers
Use synonyms
 can
learnng
Correct your spelling
learn
 more, in
this
Linking Words
 learning process, their learning skills experiences will increase. It can help them to know how to be a good teacher in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may think that educational success
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on students' attitudes in
class
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
 society or
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
 parents
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
hope son and daughter can get high
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 or
get
Verb problem
acquire
show examples
 a
large
Correct word choice
wide range
show examples
 of skills in the future to protect themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents will tell children
become
Verb problem
to be
show examples
 quiet and concentrate at school or in
class
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, children will
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 self
attitudes
Use the right word
self-attitudes
show examples
 in
class
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, they are focusing on interesting
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 for themselves
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Maths and Chinese. In the end, in
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
 society nowadays, these two
phenonmenons
Correct your spelling
phenomena
 are very common for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational success. These two
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very close
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each other. It can improve for students.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clear view on which side you think is stronger and why.
coherence
Make the flow of ideas smooth with simple joints like and, but, also, then, however.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar to make the text easy to read.
structure
Have a clear start, body, and end. Each paragraph should carry one main idea.
strength
There is a real try to discuss both views.
structure
There is an intro and a closing part.
content
Some use of real life example as HK case is seen.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: