IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the extinction of species is the main environmental problem that we are facing in modern times. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

A small proportion of people argue that animal extinction is the most serious environmental issue facing our planet today.
However
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, I disagree.
Although
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 wildlife plays an essential role in maintaining ecological balance, problems
such
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 as global warming, air pollution, and water scarcity are more urgent.
To begin
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, human activities have caused severe damage to natural resources, and many of these consequences are global.
For instance
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, global warming has become a major concern because its effects can be felt in almost every country. Rising temperatures increase the frequency of droughts, floods, and other natural disasters.
Moreover
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, air pollution is another pressing worldwide problem. When a country emits large amounts of carbon dioxide, it not only harms its own citizens but
also
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 contributes to regional and global health issues.
For example
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, China produces significant amounts of greenhouse gases, which not only damage its environment but
also
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 affect neighbouring countries
such
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 as Thailand.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that the extinction of endangered species is the most critical environmental challenge. They argue that animals are essential to maintaining a stable ecosystem, and the loss of even one species can disrupt natural balance.
Consequently
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,
this
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 disruption may influence other species and lead to
further
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 environmental decline.
For example
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, if snakes become extinct, the population of rats may increase dramatically, which
then
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 causes additional ecological problems. In conclusion,
although
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 the extinction of animals is a serious concern, I believe it is not the most urgent environmental issue. Human-made problems, including climate change and pollution, require more immediate attention.

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task response
Your view is clear, but say more why you think it is not the most urgent issue. Add one strong claim in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Link your ideas well. Use clear links between sentences and keep one main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Give more direct and strong examples that show the issue. Avoid long general points.
vocabulary
Use simple words from common list. Some phrases here may be hard; aim for common mix.
grammar
Watch grammar and sentence form in a few places to keep sense clear.
task response
Clear stance and a full view of the topic.
coherence
Good use of connecting words to show the flow of ideas.
examples
Some good examples are used to support points.
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