Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

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Numerous animals are experiencing a significantly fast reduction in the proportion of their species, and
this
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issue raises concerns for humanity.
This
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essay will identify the possible factors of
this
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treacherous phenomenon and provide viable solutions.
To begin
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with, there can be no doubt that illegal hunting is the primary reason behind
this
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problem, as people need to acquire skins and furs from extinct species like tigers, bears, and snakes.
This
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is mainly
due to
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the increasing demand from consumers, especially from renowned designer brands that utilise high-quality materials to produce their items.
Additionally
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, the escalating deforestation trend
also
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contributes to
this
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problem by causing those animals to lose their habitat. Take the urbanisation process as the perfect example to encapsulate
this
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; trees and forests need to be knocked down in order to construct a multitude of new buildings. In essence, human
activities
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have significantly altered natural balance. To tackle these issues, one effective approach is to implement stricter rules regarding these detrimental
activities
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;
therefore
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, the irresponsible culprits could be captured and receive sanctions
due to
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their harmful behaviour.
This
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is reinforced by the fact that there was an approximate discrepancy of 34% compared to the previous years in deforestation
activities
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when the Malaysian government first executed
this
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policy in 2012.
Furthermore
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, campaigns
also
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should be done to provide awareness and educate juveniles on the hidden pitfalls of these issues.
In other words
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, government policies play a paramount importance in enforcing environmental protection measures. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, it is worth noting that the root causes of animal extinction are harmful human
activities
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.
However
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, there should be stringent regulations to protect our flora and fauna.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on the points made, providing further details or examples to fully support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and clarity by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will help in making your paragraphs flow more smoothly.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both parts of the question by identifying the causes and proposing solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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