IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tаblе and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in оnе аrеа of Britain. The tаblе shows where the mоnеу саtе from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tаblе and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in оnе аrеа of Britain. The tаblе shows where the mоnеу саtе from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The mixed charts illustrate the budget of the police department from 2017 to 2018 in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area in Britain, where the tables show the category of money and the pie charts show the allocation of the money.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be inferred that the police budget had been increased compared to the
last
Linking Words
 year,
as well as
Linking Words
 the distribution of cash flow was still dominated by salaries to officers and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
. Taking a closer look at the police budget , all of the categories have been increased significantly, with the
most
Correct word choice
largest increase
show examples
 being
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
 taxes being from 91,2
million
Use synonyms
 to 102,3
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
National
Correct article usage
The National
show examples
 Government came second by having a 2.3
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 extension from 175,5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017, the
last
Linking Words
 being other resources with a half
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 increase. Ultimately, the total amount surged almost 14
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 compared to the
Linking Words
last
Correct word choice
previous
show examples
 year at 304.7
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
. Regarding the allocation of the cash, most of which went to salaries in both years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it declined 6% in 2018 from 75% in 2017.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in
technology
Punctuation problem
technology,
show examples
 the percentage rose from less than a tenth in 2017 to almost 15% in the following year.
Finally
Linking Words
, the buildings and transport category remains unchanged at 17% in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • funding sources
  • income
  • distribution
  • allocation
  • government grants
  • local taxes
  • expenses
  • operational costs
  • administration
  • community programs
  • salaries
  • law enforcement
  • financial trends
  • comparative analysis
  • implications
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