IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries school have severe with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, Pupils in many countries are
acting with
Verb problem
exhibiting
show examples
 bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in schools. The
mainly
Replace the word
main
show examples
 cause that
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 to mind for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is negligence.
However
Linking Words
, raising the
parent`s
Check wording
parents'
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
this
Linking Words
 issue could be a suitable solution. The home environment
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflects
show examples
the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of the students in schools, so when parents
neglict
Correct your spelling
neglect
 their son or
doughter
Correct your spelling
daughter
, he or she would feel emotional
empteness
Correct your spelling
emptiness
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, acting
bad
Replace the word
badly
show examples
 and bullying others in school.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the parents don`t spend enough
time
Use synonyms
 with them at home, and focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 work all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day, the child will think that he is hated, so he will take out all the negative feelings on others in school. A possible solution for
this
Linking Words
 serious issue is
by enlightening
Change preposition
to enlighten
show examples
 families about
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Work is important
of
Punctuation problem
, of
show examples
 course, but spending
to
Use the right word
too
show examples
 much
time
Use synonyms
 and energy on it and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
to guide
Wrong verb form
guiding
show examples
 them or
to play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 with them could affect their
bahavior
Correct your spelling
behaviour
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study in Canada
approved
Verb problem
found
show examples
 that students are being
neglicted
Correct your spelling
neglected
 by their parents
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
show examples
 more troubles compared to
proper
Replace the word
properly
show examples
 cared pupils. There are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of content makers on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media advising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with each other in order to prevent
this
Linking Words
 problem. In conclusion, pupils tend to
act
Verb problem
behave
show examples
bad
Replace the word
badly
show examples
 in schools
due to
Linking Words
 negligence from their families at home is the root
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the issue, so it`s important not to overlook
this
Linking Words
 problem by
rising
Use the right word
raising
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awearness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 in communities and homes.

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grammar
Use correct spelling and standard grammar; many errors obscure meaning.
structure
Organize ideas into four clear paragraphs: intro, two body paragraphs (causes and solutions), conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
content
Explain causes more precisely and avoid vague phrases; link ideas clearly to home life and school behavior.
examples
Add more examples or data to support points; avoid relying on one study, and describe it briefly.
grammar
Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms; keep a formal tone and consistent spelling of key terms.
style
Use precise vocabulary and reduce repetition; ensure consistent term use (students vs pupils).
task response
The essay attempts to cover both causes and solutions.
coherence
There is a clear overall structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
cohesion
Use of linking words like however, for instance shows some cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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