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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that government should be held responsible when problem of homelessness snd unemployment arise.Do you agree or disagree

In today's modern era, it is argued by some that policymakers are responsible when the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
homelessness
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 and unemployment increases. I strongly agree with
this
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 proposal, and I believe that in these situations, governments must carry out initiatives to diminish these issues,
such
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 as providing suitable sanctuary and creating a wide range of job positions.
To begin
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, lawmakers, by supporting businesses, can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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expand their market, leading to the creation of an extended variety of job opportunities for individuals.
In addition
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, authorities can absorb unemployed individuals
in
Change preposition
into
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 governmental
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
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. A pertinent example is Iran, where the government, by giving loans to traders, has contributed to
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 developing their businesses. In
this
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 scenario, they have hired a large number of
people
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, which has truly diminished the
rate
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 of unemployment.
Hence
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, providing financial
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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 for those who desire to establish a new business can potentially create more job positions in society.
Furthermore
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, policymakers, by founding institutions aimed at providing a welcoming and warm place for those who fail to have a
house
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home
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, can reduce the
rate
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 of
homelessness
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 in the community.
Moreover
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, it is essential to implement proactive plans, assisting in raising individuals' awareness about the complexities of life.
For instance
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, Komiteyeh Emdad in Iran is an organisation that helps homeless
people
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 to find a suitable home.
Consequently
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, investing in
centers
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centres
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 that inform
people
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 of the pressures of life and collect
people
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's contributions can decrease
homelessness
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.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, lawmakers, by doing a combination of measures, can easily control the
rate
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 of unemployment and
homelessness
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,
such
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 as offering funds for business managers and founding charities. These measures ultimately lead to a significant decline in
such
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 challenges.

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planning
Plan the essay with two clear ideas and a short intro, then end with a clear wrap up.
coherence
Use simple links to show flow, like first, then, also, and finally.
development
Give more detail when you name an example, show what was done and why it helps.
stance
Strong position is clear: you agree with the idea.
structure
Two main ideas are used: jobs and homes, which match the task.
example
A real example from Iran is used to back the point.
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