IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows average UK salaries, by city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows average UK salaries, by city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart displays the average salary in various
cities
Use synonyms
 in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 graph just shows five
cities
Use synonyms
 in England and two
cities
Use synonyms
 in Scotland. London had the highest income
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 Birmingham had the lowest of all.
Besides
Linking Words
, most of the
samples
Use synonyms
 came from London, meanwhile Cambridge had
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
show examples
 amount than other
cities
Use synonyms
. Started from Birmingham as the lowest point of all, it just reached 25,531
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling with 2949
samples
Use synonyms
. It is almost the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Manchester, but it had more
1000
Change preposition
than 1000
show examples
samples
Use synonyms
 than Birmingham.
Then
Linking Words
, followed by Glasgow, with about 1 pound sterling increased, the sampling had the same total
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Manchester.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Bristol and Edinburgh had similar
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 27,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling with 500
Use synonyms
samples
Fix the agreement mistake
sample
show examples
 differences. Cambridge had a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 salary, because it reached 29,854
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling.
Conversely
Linking Words
, it had
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
show examples
 number of
samples
Use synonyms
 with just 2180 persons.
Lastly
Linking Words
, as the highest value of all, London got a significant increase
Change preposition
in of
show examples
of salary
Correct word order
salary of
show examples
 about 33,634
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling. It
also
Linking Words
 had the highest number of
samples
Use synonyms
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 eight times bigger than Manchester.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, samples, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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