IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children at secondary school should be streamed, i.e. taught in classes according to ability, rather than being taught in mixed-ability classes. Do you think the advantages of streaming children at secondary school outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an ongoing debate about whether middle school students should receive personalised teaching or be taught in mixed-ability classes. Not only does being taught at your own pace provide better progress, but it
also
Linking Words
 risks isolating those who struggle to keep up.
Although
Linking Words
 I believe that it has advantages, in my opinion, they do not outweigh the downsides of it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, adapting to the pace of their classmates prepares the pupils for adult life. In most real-life scenarios, you have to accommodate others; not everything can be tailored to your personal needs. A good example of that would be the workplace, where you will have to adjust to the surrounding community, as it is a group space where compromising with every worker's expectations is not possible. If children grow up expecting everything to be personalised to them, wouldn’t that result in a shock coming out to see that it is not how it works in adult life?
In addition
Linking Words
, it is important to mention that kids can be unkind, and everyone being at different levels would very likely cause bullying and discrimination. Most pre-teens or early adolescents go through a phase of rebellion, and almost everyone I know either was pushed around or was the bully in secondary school. Considering the fact that there will be many peers as it is, giving them one more excuse for cruel behaviour would ruin the childhood for those who may be slow learners,
although
Linking Words
 learning at your own personal speed might be more beneficial, as every individual would have their needs met. In conclusion, I do not think that streaming students is a good idea, even though the quality of learning might increase; it is not worth depriving children of the joyful and playful years of their life,
as well as
Linking Words
 making it more difficult to adapt in upcoming social situations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Give more details for both sides and add more clear examples. Link ideas with simple phrases.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and add easy links like first, also, but, so.
language
Check grammar; keep short and plain sentences to fit a 5 level.
strength
Your view is clear and easy to see.
strength
You use a real example about workplace.
strength
You keep to the topic and try to cover both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • streaming
  • mixed-ability classes
  • tailor
  • teaching strategies
  • learning experience
  • high-ability students
  • self-esteem
  • motivation
  • marginalized
  • collaborative learning
  • educational inequalities
  • academic success
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • resources
  • peer support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: