IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

There is a loss of biodiversity, and some types of flora and fauna have gone extinct
due to
Linking Words
 the negative impact of mankind on the world's
ecosystem
Use synonyms
. A plethora of reasons can be behind it;
however
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, urbanisation and burgeoning demands are the two leading causes. The coming paragraphs will shed light on the causes
as well as
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 a few of the possible solutions. All the species on the globe are interdependent on each other for their survival. There are some factors that can put some species in danger.
Firstly
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, the ever-growing needs and demands of humanity, without considering the
ecosystem
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, are negatively impacting our biodiversity. Statistics show that half of the world's manufactured goods are not recycled, and the debris from that continual production creates a literal mess in the oceans, forests, etc.
Consequently
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,
this
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 leads to the deaths of various marine
animals
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, predators, and mammals across the globe, causing distress within an ecological community.
Furthermore
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, urbanisation significantly impacts ecology by replacing natural habitats with large cities that produce various types of pollution, including water, air, and ground pollution.
For instance
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, fish in Dhaka's Buriganga River are nearly extinct
due to
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 polluted wastewater from cities. Eventually, deforestation occurs, and flora and fauna can vanish from the face of
this
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 planet.
While
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 it has become arduous to curb the situation, there are solutions that can be implemented, and some of them are already being used in some countries.
For example
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, H&M launched a campaign allowing people to give old clothes to any store and obtain a 10% discount coupon; these garments are
subsequently
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 recycled and resold, thereby mitigating pollution associated with clothing manufacturing.
Furthermore
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, stakeholders should control deforestation to avoid sudden climate change and to prevent endangering the homes of
animals
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 and plants.
Additionally
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, higher authorities should
also
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 ban the predation of endangered
animals
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. In conclusion,
although
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 human beings have a negative influence on the
ecosystem
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.
Nevertheless
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, it is the duty of every human to avoid damaging the inhabitants of different species of plants
as well as
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animals
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, which are essential for the survival of the
ecosystem
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.

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task
Make each big idea clear in the body and add more real examples.
coherence
Use simple words and short lines to link ideas so readers can follow.
structure
End with a strong conclusion that restates the main idea and its proof.
structure
Intro states topic and plan.
coherence
Paragraphs show a plan and some linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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