IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others ,however ,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account account when deciding on the punishment .Discuss the both these view and give your opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevent experiences from your own knowledge or experience.

The discourse about criminal sentences has been a debate in
law
Use synonyms
, whether the
punishment
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rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 on the
crime
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 type or
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 personal condition and motivation of the perpetrators. Some experts argue that
punishment
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 must be fixed
due to
Linking Words
cimes
Correct your spelling
crimes
 that have been
done
Verb problem
committed
show examples
. Meanwhile, some
academes
Use the right word
academics
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 and human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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 activists assert that
crime
Use synonyms
 does not stand alone and must be an interference from personal background.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the latter
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
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 individual reasons to punish a criminal.
In
Change preposition
On
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 one hand, some people agree that
punishment
Use synonyms
 should on rely on the kind of crimes.
This
Linking Words
 practice will make the
law
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 enforcement
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to address
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 idea will accelerate the
law
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 settlement faster than before, since it does not need a lot of arguments
druing
Correct your spelling
during
 the courts. In Indonesia,
for example
Linking Words
, most people
already
Verb problem
are already
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 informed that murder will be sentenced minimum
for
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of
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 seven years, except for
first degree
Use the right word
first-degree
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murder
Punctuation problem
murder,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will
sentence
Wrong verb form
be sentenced
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death
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to death
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.
However
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, some parties consider
Correct article usage
the perpetrators
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perpetrators
Check wording
perpetrator's
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 background that
involve
Wrong verb form
is involved
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 in the
crime
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as reasons and motivations. They believe that
this
Linking Words
 notion will portray
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
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 problem in society, especially social problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, robbery is
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 a
crime
Use synonyms
, but maybe that person is so poor and has nothing
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to eat. It might
happened
Verb problem
have happened
show examples
 because no one in the
neigbourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 helped him out.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the judges will shorten the
punishment
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is a fact that the
Use synonyms
law
Check wording
law's
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 perspective on
punishment
Use synonyms
 has been divided into two poles. On
side
Check wording
people
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 think that fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
 will make the
law
Use synonyms
 process simple and quick, meanwhile the other people consider
because
Change preposition
that
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 there are wider social issues to overcome.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the latter paradigm, which
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 more positive since it will solve broader life matters.

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planning
Plan your essay first. Write a clear idea or thesis and 2-3 main points.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas (first, also, but, however).
content
Give more real and clear examples that fit the point you make.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Use correct subject-verb and tense.
content
The essay shows a clear view of the topic.
structure
There is an effort to talk about both sides of the issue.
content
Some simple ideas are used in a good way.
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