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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into the categories, from 1995 to 2002

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into the categories, from 1995 to 2002
The bar chart illustrates the total number of seconds of phone calls in the United Kingdom,
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
 into the categories
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Local, National and International and Mobiles between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
Local
Correct article usage
the Local
show examples
 call type was the most popular
line
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the Mobiles were the least trendy. National and International call
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
was following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 the Local
line
Use synonyms
 throughout the given period. In 1995, people from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent about 70 billion
minutes
Use synonyms
 on the local
line
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 they were using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobiles only about 0-10 billion
minutes
Use synonyms
.
National
Correct article usage
The national
show examples
 and International
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 in the middle between them with 30-40
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
. After 4 years, Local
line
Use synonyms
 reached a peak and at 90, before starting to decrease gradually to 70. In 2002, Local
Use synonyms
line
Fix capitalization
Line
show examples
 was still the head of these three categories,
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 with the lowest level of its own.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 and International
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 was spreadily rose
and
Rephrase
steadily and
show examples
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 towards the end. From 1995 to 1999,
mobile
Correct article usage
the mobile
show examples
line
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually soared before experiencing a sharp
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
. As a
refult
Correct your spelling
result
 of
this
Linking Words
 significant increase, it
situated
Verb problem
is situated
show examples
 between 40-50
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
 
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 
minutes
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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