IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

1.In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advance of technology, the future where
adoption
Correct article usage
the adoption
show examples
 of
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
 that only carry passengers would have
realized
Wrong verb form
been realised
show examples
 is getting closer to us.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the pros and cons of the advent of
driverless
Use synonyms
 cars have sparked widespread discussion.
While
Linking Words
 there are some challenges to overcome, I firmly believe that the advantages of
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
 far outweigh their disadvantages.​ First and foremost,
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
 will greatly improve road safety.
Driverless
Use synonyms
 cars, which
equipped
Verb problem
are equipped
show examples
 with advanced technologies like sensors, cameras, and artificial intelligence, can react to
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
show examples
 when
sheering
Use the right word
steering
show examples
 the wheel more precisely and
swift
Replace the word
swiftly
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, they never get tired, never drink, and always follow traffic rules strictly.
This
Linking Words
 means fewer accidents and saved lives—a benefit that cannot be overstated.​ In comparison, most
car
Use synonyms
 accidents today are caused by human error,
such
Linking Words
 as drunk driving, tiredness, or distracted
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 like using mobile phones.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 statistics from the World Health
Organization
Change the spelling
Organisation
show examples
, over 80% people die unnaturally in road accidents every year, and a large percentage of these are avoidable. So with the advent of
driverless
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, the situation could be reversed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, autonomous
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 will bring convenience and efficiency to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Someone, not get
Correct article usage
a drive
show examples
drive
Check wording
driver's
show examples
 license or
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 have
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 to steer, could
also
Linking Words
 travel alone with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
driverless
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of depending on others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, autonomous
vehicles
Use synonyms
 render the one, who used to be a driver but now a passenger, to liberty his hands to tackle assignments, read files, or relax,
instead
Linking Words
 of focusing on the road condition tensely.
For instance
Linking Words
, Hefei, as an innovation site, where
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 residents could get a lift with a special taxi without a cabbie to shop, hospital, or others, first adopted
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in a few districts. And you can imagine that one day in the future, you
stuck
Verb problem
are stuck
show examples
 in a dilemma where you could park your
car
Use synonyms
 in a narrow avenue, at
this
Linking Words
 time, the intelligent machine manipulates your
car
Use synonyms
 accurately. So we can expect
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
abundant
Replace the word
abundance
show examples
 of astonishing experiences, and
Correct article usage
a convenience
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 life brought
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 self-driving. We couldn’t overlook
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 that
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
 have. One of the largest concerns is job loss. Millions of people earn their living behind the wheel as cabbies, truckers, and bus operators. If
driverless
Use synonyms
 technology is adopted throughout the whole transportation system, these
labors
Use the right word
labourers
show examples
 will lose their job, which may lead to
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
 calamity in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. With the advent of mature technology and comprehensive legislation and policy, the dilemma they bring
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be
conquer
Wrong verb form
conquered
show examples
,
Use synonyms
driverless
Correct word choice
and driverless
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 will be a great blessing for humanity in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your view clear in one line at the start and again at the end.
structure
Give one main idea in each part and link it to your view.
grammar
Fix grammar and use simpler word forms; check phrases like 'which equipped' to 'which are equipped'.
vocabulary
Use shorter, simple sentences for easy read.
conclusion
End with a short closing line that repeats your view.
position
You state your view clearly.
content
You use some real life examples to support your point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: