IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
press
Use synonyms
 should not
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 details information about
politicians
Use synonyms
' personal
lives
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally disagrees with that statement because
this
Linking Words
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 to know their real personality and stop them from doing wrong
things
Use synonyms
. Citizens need to know the real personality of the
people
Use synonyms
 in the
government
Use synonyms
 from newspapers, because most of the
politicians
Use synonyms
 show to public the good side only and try
hardly
Replace the word
hard
show examples
 to cover the
worse
Correct word choice
worst
show examples
 side of
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, so many individuals will follow them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if there is any election, they vote
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
wrong
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 have been included in the
government
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, but when the
press
Use synonyms
 speaks about their private
lives
Use synonyms
, everyone will have the knowledge to know their reality and vote for a good choice.
For example
Linking Words
, in developed countries, the newspapers speak freely about any individuals in authority
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 discover the reality about
politicians
Use synonyms
 easily. The publishing of details data about the personal
lives
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the
government
Use synonyms
 stops them from doing wrong
things
Use synonyms
. The political persons have power from the
government
Use synonyms
, and some of them use
this
Linking Words
 power over citizens and do harmful deeds to them. When the
press
Use synonyms
 has a chance to write about those
secret
Punctuation problem
secret,
show examples
 harmful deeds,
this
Linking Words
 will affect their reputation and may
receive
Verb problem
result in
show examples
 punishment.
As a result
Linking Words
, the individuals in power are going to avoid engagement in bad
things
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, after our
government
Use synonyms
 gives a chance to the
press
Use synonyms
 to speak about anything
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
politicians
Use synonyms
' private
lives
Use synonyms
, that results in a greater decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their wrong deeds. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay completely disagrees with not allowing the newspapers to publish about the personal
lives
Use synonyms
 of
politicians
Use synonyms
 because that will give a greater chance to know their personality and prevent them from doing bad
things
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay. Say your view in the first paragraph and keep it steady.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Words like and, but, also, for example help flow.
content
Add strong, clear examples. Real events or facts help your point.
grammar
Check for grammar and sentence form. Fix mistakes like not and using wrong forms.
content
You state a clear view against the idea.
content
You use examples from life to back your point.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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