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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today many teenagers rely greatly on technology when learning. Is this a positive or negative development? 2

There is no denying the fact that nowadays, technological development has changed many things in our lives, especially for
teenagers
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 who spend their leisure
time
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 on their devices. Some people are satisfied with
this
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 phenomenon and see it as the best for them and their children, but there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both points of view, and I will express my personal opinion.
To begin
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 with, there are many advantages to
this
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 situation.
First,
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teenagers
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 can develop better communication skills with others and learn about different cultures.
Second,
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they gain new skills
such
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 as learning new languages or becoming proficient in games, like Sudoku, or even understanding programming languages.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 helps them learn more about their studies through online courses and science videos.
On the other hand
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, leaving
teenagers
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 to spend their
time
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 on the devices without controlling them creates huge problems for them.
For example
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, they do not move or do exercise, and that may cause health issues, like obesity.
Moreover
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, these young adults may lose attention easily and cannot focus for a long
time
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.
Besides
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, some
teenagers
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 may become addicted to online games or social media, which can affect their sleep and concentration. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that advantages outweigh disadvantages if parents control screen
time
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. With proper guidance and
time
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 limits set by parents, new technologies can be a powerful tool that supports
teenagers
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' development more than they harm them.

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task response
Your answer shows both sides and your view. State your main position clearly in the opening and keep it in the body to the end.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph and simple links to show the order of ideas. This helps the reader follow from start to finish.
supporting points
Add more specific and simple examples to back the points. Explain how tech use helps with study or harms health with a clear link to the point.
content
Good spread of ideas: talk of learning, culture, health, sleep, and home life.
structure
Clear structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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